“Wait, What Just Came Out On PC?” Award – Katamari Damacy REROLL, Yakuza 0, Shenmue, Valkyria Chronicles 4, Killer7, etc. (Joint-winners)
Tim: PC gaming is growing, which is nothing new. But what’s mildly surprising is the rate at which major console series are making inaugural appearances on PC, or ageing console games are rapidly getting remastered onto our platform.
A few years ago, we all wanted things like Bayonetta, Vanquish, Yakuza, and Killer7. Now we actually have them. Also Katamari Damacy, Shenmue, the latest Valkyria Chronicles and Dragon Quest games, Monster Hunter World, Ni No Kuni…
In short, loads of franchises that used to be console-only (or untouched since 1999, in the case of Shenmue) are now on PC. We can only guess what surprises we’ll see in the coming years, but at this rate, it won’t be long until pretty much everything winds up with a PC version. Still waiting for ChuChu Rocket, though.
Jason: I’m honestly just hoping for an Eternal Darkness release since I never owned a Gamecube. Too bad their makers faced off against future-Fortnite and went bankrupt.
Duke Nukem Forever Award For Game That’s Finally Out – Kenshi
Tim: If the devblog on Steam is to be believed, Kenshi has been in development for 12 years. Considering the progress reports on the official site go back as far as 2008, that wouldn’t actually surprise me. Mostly, I remember early beta releases and a Steam Early Access version around 2013.
It’s a hell of an accomplishment. A post-apocalyptic, samurai-themed, open-world, town-building, RPG/RTS hybrid in which basically everyone is stronger than you from the very beginning. That’s not an endorsement of the game itself, but it’s absolutely an endorsement of the amount of work that went into it.
It’s not quite Duke Nukem Forever‘s 14 years of development, but hey: that had more people working on it, multiple engine changes, cessation of development, several developers…
Jason: Man, and to think when this game entered development, I still had a full head of hair.
Tim: Special mention also goes to RimWorld. That’s “only” been in development for five years, but it changed a lot over that course of time and got huge amounts of content as things went on.
Best Haikus – Dragon Quest XI
Tim: Localization teams don’t tend to get a lot of love. I tend to think of localization as akin to the bassline in a song: if it’s bad or missing, you notice; if it’s good, you probably don’t notice it at all. Rare are the localizations (and basslines) that are so good they actually stand out, and they’re usually very dependant on the game. Some are just rock-solid, like the Trails Of series. Some require a lot of finesse, like the Phoenix Wright series and its incessant puns and jokes.
And then there’s Dragon Quest XI, for which the localization team should take a bow. The series has long played with accents for its western versions and there may be some superior examples from earlier games, but the English translation of DQ11 is bloody amazing.
There are plenty of examples I could give, but one of the earliest is also one of the best. Before too long, you find yourself in a Japanese-themed town… in which every single person speaks in haiku form. Not just plot-relevant dialogue, either. Chatting to a guard at the gate or a man perusing armor will result in a 5/7/5 syllable response. For everyone in the town. For every line.
Like I said, there are plenty more examples throughout the course of the gargantuan RPG, but this is one of the earliest that stands out as “holy crap, that’s good.”
God Dammit, Square Enix Award – Dragon Quest XI
Tim: While not as pun-tastic as some of its predecessors, DQ11 has its fair share. Again, near the start, there are the characters in the town of Heliodor and its slums of Cobblestone… who are named for precious gems in the former, and less-precious rocks in the latter. But the real winner for “groaning, but in pseudo-appreciation”? The Sham Hatwitch. God dammit, Square Enix.
God Dammit, NIS America – Disgaea 5 Complete
Tim: Not to be outdone, Nippon Ichi Software’s Disgaea 5 is also full of groan-inducing puns. I’m just going to let that screenshot speak for itself, and sigh. Loudly.
Biggest Numbers – Disgaea 5 Complete
Tim: If gargantuan puns aren’t enough, then gargantuan numbers might be. Disgaea 5 is a grinder’s wet dream, allowing you to level up basically everything and combo together your attacks to absurd levels. The above screenshot (taken from the game’s Steam store page) may be a lot of damage in most RPGs, but in Disgaea 5 it’s a really minor example. There’s an achievement for inflicting over 10,000,000,000 damage, for crying out loud. And you can go higher still.
Most Accurate Depiction of a Post-Apocalyptic Wasteland – Fallout 76
Tim: I’m not sure why people are complaining about Fallout 76, because really, it’s the single most accurate depiction of a post-apocalyptic wasteland gaming has ever seen. Giant, empty, and exhausting; devoid of life and fun and hope. An utter slog to do anything. Bravo, really. It’s practically a simulation of how awful life would be in the aftermath of a nuclear apocalypse, only with less radiation and more plant life.
Best Game About Unguided Air-To-Ground Ballistic Boats – The Crew 2
Tim: There are people who will tell you that The Crew 2 is a game about driving or flying really fast, and maybe doing races and impressive stunts and things. These people are mad and wrong, because The Crew 2 is a game about doing tremendously dumb things with friends.
No, really. While there are hundreds of activities you can do, the real fun is to be found in crewing up with a bunch of like-minded buddies and doing the stupidest things imaginable. Thanks to the ability to fast-change between four vehicles, there are oh-so-many possibilities.
Personal favourite? Switching from plane to boat in mid-air while travelling at high speed, and attempting to land the falling ship onto a friend’s speeding car. Racing? Pfft. Dodging airborne boats is much more fun, especially when they have really stupid liveries attached.
Jason: I take it that it’s the racing genre’s version of this clip:
Most Ridiculous Out-Of-Context Gaming Outrage – Nylongate (Bethesda)
Tim: If, back in 2017, you’d told me that one of the biggest furores in the world of gaming would be about bags, I’d have laughed at you. And yet – possibly because of distinct displeasure at Fallout 76 for dozens of other reasons – that’s precisely what happened.
Apparently, the bags in the $200 USD Power Armor Edition of Fallout 76 were not actually made of canvas as advertised, but instead composed of considerably cheaper and lower-quality nylon. This rapidly went viral, providing aggrieved gamers yet another reason to vent their rage at Bethesda. Bethesda’s initial response – effectively “We’re not going to do anything about it” – didn’t do much to smooth things over, nor did the later promise of some in-game currency to affected users.
Still, canvas bags are apparently coming now. So that’s something.
Award For… Wait, What The Fuck Is Going On? – Killer7
Tim: Killer7 is somewhat infamous as a cult classic, so when it dropped on PC earlier this year, I can imagine a lot of people deciding to buy it on the strength of what they’d heard in the past. I can then imagine a lot of people being incredibly confused.
Let’s start with the mechanics, which are somewhere between a rail shooter set in a maze, an action game with RPG elements, and survival horror-esque puzzles (and fixed camera angles). So, that’s weird enough.
Then you start getting hints from a dangling man in what looks a lot like a gimp suit, a severed head that tends to pop up in washing machines and cupboards, and a verbally abusive ghost. While switching characters through the power of TV, and shooting enemies that are invisible until you “scan” them. And there are weird extra-dimensional doors that lead to save rooms, where you may or may not be allowed to save depending on whether the maid is angry or subservient. And boss fights requiring you to scour the levels for Soul Shells to pay for entrance to a coliseum that, again, seems to be linked to these locations via extra-dimensional doors. And… uh, yeah.
And then there’s the plot, which is ostensibly about a group of assassins (the titular Killer7) taking down targets, but rapidly turns into something out of David Lynch’s nightmares. I can’t go into specific details because of spoilers, but while certain plot points are “definite”, there’s a lot that’s very up in the air. Hilariously, this is to such an extent that the official tie-in information book, Hand in Killer7, makes things even more confusing and outright contradicts itself multiple times. Rather than being an oversight, I strongly suspect that this is almost certainly intentional.
It’s creepy, surreal, and confusing. It’s definitely not for everyone. But for the right sort of person, it’s… well, it’s still akin to playing through someone’s feverish nightmare, but in a good way – and all while so heavily stylised it oozes effortless cool.
Honorary Peter Parrish Award For “Why Isn’t This Alpha Protocol 2” – The Outer Worlds
Tim: M’colleague and fellow Alternative Awards alumni Peter Parrish may be gone from PC Invasion, but he’s certainly not forgotten. It seemed only right that one of these Alternative Awards be in his name, and while anything relating to stone dongs was tempting, it really had to be this one.
The Outer Worlds looks really, really cool, and I’m not just saying that because Obsidian are behind it. However, because it’s another year and another Obsidian game, it leads to the question that Peter would doubtless ask: “Why isn’t this Alpha Protocol 2?” The answer, obviously, is “Because SEGA owns the rights and it’s not Obsidian’s choice,” but hey. We couldn’t possibly go a year without lamenting the lack of a sequel to Obsidian’s excellent, if flawed, spy-fi choice-’em-up.
Published: Dec 24, 2018 10:00 am