MMO Weekly: The Search For Guild Names

If you had a chance to read last week’s MMO Weekly, you’ll remember that I just re-rolled a new WoW toon. I now have a 60-something draenai DK on a PvE server. This was all unthinkable a short while back – I’ve been a PvP-oriented Hordie from the birth of WoW – but the whole idea was to be able to play with family members. They all played Alliance toons (as they were more appropriate for the kids who play), and so I broke down and joined their ranks. Got to admit, it’s been fun.My beloved wife, who was largely responsible for my switch, has done a fine job of helping everyone out, and of organising things in general. In fact, she actually bought a guild from another player. Her reasoning is that it’s cheaper to buy the charter from a dying guild than to start a brand new one. So she bought ‘Power of Greatness’ (or whatever it was called) from a retiring guild leader, and got us all to join up. Wahoo, we’re all in a big, family friendly guild together.And that’s about as ‘family friendly’ as my spouse gets. You’ve got to understand, she’s simply hilarious. She’s the most fun of any woman I’ve ever known, and she often can’t stop herself. Thus, when she contacted a GM to have the name ‘Power of Greatness’ changed to something else (surprisingly, that’s allowed) she and the GM had a chat that lasted a solid half-hour. Why? Because the responding GM had an epic sense of humor, though he didn’t approve of many of the names she wanted for her new guild. Despite this, she kept trying, and the back and forth between her and the GM was epic. Here, have a look for yourself:Guild Name: ‘Is Going Commando’
GM Response: This would have been funny, right? Any time you looked at any of the members of our guild, it would have read Player XX ‘Is Going Commando’. Get it? Well, the GM didn’t like her first idea for a name, because it ‘suggested nudity’. This, according to him, was against Blizzard policy. So she tried again…and again…and again.Guild Name: ‘Did Your Mom’
GM Response: The GM didn’t like this one either, because it would have implied that everyone in our guild tapped someone’s/anyone’s/everyone’s mother. Tapping someone’s mother is (apparently) against Blizzard policy.Guild Name: ‘Frak You’
GM Response: She tried to make this one fly by claiming it was a reference to Battlestar Galactica. The GM got the reference alright, and said “no.”Guild Name: ‘The Etards’
GM Response: This was offensive on so many levels, the GM didn’t bother to explain why he couldn’t approve this. He just said ‘Nope’.Guild Name: “I Know You Are, But What Am I?”
GM Response: “Something very similar is already in use.”Guild Name: ‘STFU’
GM Response: Again, it’s offensive because of the “thinly veiled profanity” inherent in the name.Guild Name: “Noobs With Boobs”
GM Response: “Hehe, no.”Guild Name: ‘Slaps ePeen’
GM Response: “Try again.” I think she was just trying to get on the GM’s nerves with this one.Guild Name: “Hi, I’m Bi”
GM Response: She had a go at the whole “Are you saying that being bi is wrong?” thing with the GM, but he didn’t buy it. The minute she went down that road, he slapped her down with “Don’t even waste your breath.”Guild Name: “Eats Babies”
GM Response: She tried to persuade the GM that this guild name demonstrated our hardcore edginess. He felt it more demonstrated our douche-bagginess.Guild Name: “Loves Jebus”
GM Response: “Changing one letter doesn’t conceal the religious reference.”Guild Name: “Mike Morhaime”
GM Response: “You can’t name your guild after the Blizzard CEO.”Guild Name: ‘Is Bulging’
GM Response: Yeah, she was back to the innuendos again. GM laughed, but slapped this idea down, too.Guild Name: “GM”
GM Response: “Seriously? It’s against the TOS to imply that you are a GM.”{PAGE TITLE=MMO Weekly page 2}Guild Name: ‘The Lip Lickers’
GM Response: “Sorry.” I’m not sure why, but this began the “rapid fire” phase of the conversation. In this phase, she simply typed in a guild name, and the obviously amused GM just told her “no,” repeatedly, without much explanation.Guild Name: ‘Is It Hawt In Here, Or Is It You?’
GM Response: “Nope, try again.”Guild Name: ‘Scooby Doo Smokes Weed’
GM Response: “Obviously, no.” (Probably because it’s a drug reference, but also likely because it’s the stupidest guild name ever.)Guild Name: ‘Is Drunk’
GM Response: No explanation, just “No.”Guild Name: “Fap Fap Fap”
GM Response: “Not a chance”.Guild Name: “Clubs Baby Seals”
GM Response: “Nope.”Guild Name: “The Pedobears”
GM Response: “No way.” (Thankfully!)Guild Name: “Gnome Nibblers”
GM Response: “What? No.”Guild Name: “Puff Puff Pass”
GM Response: “Nopers.”Guild Name: “Paladins Suck”
GM Response: “Next.”Guild Name: “You’ll Poke Your Eye Out With That”
GM Response: “No.” (I actually have no idea why, but I’m guessing it’s because he was just so used to saying ‘no,’ that he automatically rejected it).Guild Name: “I’m Naked Under My Clothes”
GM Response: “No.”Guild Name: “Will Sell You Gold At A Great Price”
GM Response: “No.”Guild Name: “Darth Vader” (I think she was running out of ideas at this point).
GM Response: “That’s copyrighted.”Guild Name: “Want to Cyber?”
GM Response: “No.”Guild Name: “Champions Online Is The Best MMO EVAR”
GM Response: “Oh come on.”Guild Name: “Wears Hot Pants”
GM Response: “No…wait a minute.” He was gone for a full minute and said, “I just checked. That one’s ok.”And after confirming that “Wears Hot Pants” was a name she really wanted for her new guild, the GM granted her request. He seemed almost reluctant to go, and told her that she was the most fun player he’d encountered in a long, long time.The end result of all this? I’m an officer in Wears Hot Pants. Yay.And that is the end of our tale for this week. As always, if you enjoyed this this foray into MMO-space, come and visit us over at WanderingGoblin.com, where we dabble in this nonsense each and every day. For now, ciao!