Kick-Ass 2 out now; do not buy it

This makes it look better than it actually is. I repeat: this makes it look BETTER than it actually is.

UIG Entertainment is apparently proud to announce that Kick-Ass 2 has just hit Steam, which is silly, because it’s terrible. If I were them I’d have claimed no involvement at all. Or maybe this is their way of pleading guilty, in the hopes of leniency? Hmm.

The belated game adaptation of last year’s film has just hit Steam, and it puts you in control of wannabe superhero Kick-Ass as he fights crime on the streets of New York City. And also the sewers. There are quite a lot of sewers.

It actually came out on Friday, and I bought it because I really wanted to see just how bad it was. It’s one of the worst things I’ve played in a long, long, long time.

I’ll doubtless have a full report on Kick-Ass 2 later this week, but you can buy it yourself for £16. I’m not linking to its Steam page here, because there is absolutely no reason to pay £16 for it and I don’t want to make it possible for you to trip, fall, and accidentally click the link, add it to your cart, and purchase it, in your desperate flailings. There is no reason to pay even £1.60 for it, for that matter. I would honestly kinda balk at 16p. It is terrible. I want to tell you exactly how terrible it is, but we’ll save that for the review.

Kick-Ass 2 is out now and you should never, ever buy it.