A BioShock movie is on the way from Netflix

Are you sick of games that have absolutely no business being movies getting turned into movies? Of course, you are. In better news, that BioShock movie that we heard about like a decade ago is actually getting made — and it’s going to be on Netflix. Today, the streaming giant announced that a movie based on the game about Big Daddies and body-altering chemicals is in talks. According to The Hollywood Reporter, however, no major personnel have yet to sign onto the project. I’m sure they can get Paul Thomas Anderson to direct. What’s more, Netflix and Take Two are apparently gearing up to set off an entire cinematic universe and not just one movie. Okay, that worries me a little bit.

As it’s specifically mentioned that this is BioShock and not BioShock Infinite, I’d wager that the initial movie will be taking us to Rapture instead of elsewhere. Although it’s possible we’ll go into the clouds eventually, depending on how well the audience responds to the film. Well, as long as Juliet Landau (the original voice of the Little Sisters) is brought back in a fun way, I won’t complain too bitterly. Who am I kidding? I’ll always complain too bitterly.

Under the sea (well, probably)

A BioShock movie dates back to 2007, when the original game released. At one point, Pirates of the Caribbean director Gore Verbinski was set to take the project. The production was canceled mere months before shooting began. Apparently, he wanted the story about junkies harvesting children by means of vicious murder to be R-rated. The nerve of that guy. Either a G rating or nothing! We just need to replace all the murder and drug abuse with sunshine and puppies. There’s no telling how grisly the Netflix take on a BioShock movie adaptations will be, but I doubt there will be much sanitization, if The Witcher‘s TV show is anything to go by.